One Step Forward, One Big Stumble Backwards
Sunday, March 28, 2021
Okay, so my late morning began with me working on creating a pros and cons list of the two potential companies for me to try out. I put on some Barry White and tried to get to work. This was typical old-school Ena: organizing, rationalizing, trying most carefully to arrive at the “best” decision. I soon became frustrated and irritated. And why? Because I had that growing feeling in me that I was wasting my precious time, that I was stalling, that I was avoiding the real work that needed to be done. What makes matters worse is that I spent time struggling to display the useless chart. My idea was to complete it in Word and just copy/paste it here. As I stumbled along, the trumpets behind Barry’s vocals seemed to mock me, actually sounded like they were laughing at me. (blehp! blehp! bleph!) Ultimately, I could have figured out how to put the chart below but there was no point in doing so,
Both companies offer me what I need. One is just more expensive, much more expensive. And before I even choose, I want to feel confident enough about what I am going to be putting together. My real issue is with quality, the quality of the images. My laptop shows relatively crisp photos but a quick zoom in reveals dust, lack of sharpness, imperfections galore. Folks who are creating photo books these days are uploading digital images from their iphones. Lenny lived pre-iphone. And I know that I need to let go, let go of this expectation that I will arrive at something even close to perfection. This has always been my hang-up. Why can’t I start to let go?
I am going to look over the layout of images as Lenny had arranged them and then I just have to get started. I should be able to let go of this pressure that it has to be a certain way. Lenny is gone. I can’t ask him what he intended. I can’t inquire as to where the photos should go in relation to the text. I can’t ask. I can’t know. I have to let go and just start.
After listening to Barry White several times before switching to Yusef Lateef, I finally turned the music off and went through the photos one last time. The first pass is the first pass. It’ll be a good enough because it will represent a start of an important next step. It may take me several tries to feel really good about it. I have to remember what it is I am doing and who I am doing it for.
I created a login and password and became a member of blurb. It didn’t take me long to get a little frustrated as I started to address the learning curve for the Wright Design Tool. Slowly, I got the hang of using the text container. I found out the hard way that the font I chose was not licensed for blurb so I resigned myself to their choices, which are not super-plentiful but didn’t matter as much to me. This is about a first pass. Once I got past the inside cover, dedication, and the “Contents” page (I decided against tackling the cover page), I rounded the bend only to hit the wall I kind of knew would be there: Lenny’s photos. A part of me knew they would be an issue. I did a bit of cropping as I added the images for the Intro but when I clicked on one to get a preview, I saw it: flecks of dust across portions of sky. I had ignored it all, convincing myself it was my dirty monitor. And I was right, my monitor is very dirty. But it only added another layer of imperfection to my view of the images.
I am going to have to clean the slides I plan to use and rescan them (after properly cleaning my monitor, of course).
I saved my work and closed out of the software. I need to go back to the beginning, almost. And I have to confront my fears, which are two-fold: 1. I’ll f-up the slides as I attempt to clean them, and 2. the slides actually can’t be sufficiently cleaned. I do have them all scanned, which is somewhat of a saving grace. I am sure that there is software out there that can remove “imperfections” from scanned images, right? (right?) It is probably very expensive. And I have not dug around the site enough to know whether blurb offers such a service.
I once again was moved to seek out sounds. Yusef Lateef’s flute soothed me (“Love Theme From The Robe”) as I worked out a plan to move things forward:
purchase a monitor wipes (Advois Wipes)
look up how to clean the Wolverine scanner (if possible), as I need that to be in good shape
look up how to clean old slides (wuthout f’ing them up)
purchase any other materials needed to clean old slides
pray
get to work on cleaning everything (as I do not trust Lenny’s slides to a place that will claim to be able to clean them. Perhaps this is why I may be at the mercy of a publisher, should one take an interest in the project.
Yusef Lateef’s flute is telling me I can do this. He is telling me not to feel bad about not cleaning off the slides. I am trying to listen to him.
