‘In A Silent Way’…I Keep Going

Photo By Author

Saturday, June 26, 2021

So I am behind schedule, by about a month. I have been neglecting the project in favor of my own writing. But here I am, on a Monday night, taking note of my slight effort today. I managed to get back to the book layout and complete some more tedious typing, with my brother’s Miles Davis tapes, 2 of them actually. I avoided the photos, as I am still uncertain of how and where to place them, of how large to make them. I am not a photo editor. Not even close.

I think back to the days when I was in the community darkroom on Roosevelt Island and later, at another darkroom somewhere way on the upper east side where a high school friend of mine and I would spend hours developing our images; they were never quite crisp black and whites, more like greys and whites. But thy were unique, they were ours, we did it ourselves. But we never harnessed the technique, the craft, the skills to take it further. It was a dream…clouds of greys and whites.

I feel in my gut that I may not get a publisher for Lenny’s work. I’ve said it before. Maybe I just haven’t tried hard, haven’t waiting long enough. Maybe it’s the old F word…

Faith. (What word were you thinking of?)

All I know is that some of the most talented people I ever knew (and the kindest) always had trouble finishing what they started. They were always on the move, exploring, living life intensely. I often wonder if I’ve done that enough. I wonder if it really matters that much whether something remains incomplete. I know that when they left me, I felt cut off, like someone had slashed me. I have to finish what Lenny started but it has to be good, it has to look good, feel good. I could use some help.